I finished my first book in 2012 but published it in 2018 when I knew my daughter was on the way. For six years, I allowed what I wanted to give away to sit quietly in obscurity because I knew it wasn’t perfect.
I allowed my desire for perfection, or to escape criticism, to steal from me and those for whom the book was written. If I’m being honest, I still struggle with this. The reason? Wrong focus. When I am focused on preserving myself, my status, or security, I can’t give. When I shift from self-preservation to generous service, the fear and perfection turn to joy and hope.
When was the last time fear of imperfection held you back from sharing something valuable with others? Take a moment to consider what you might be holding onto right now.
Why do we have to talk about death?
If we have the greatest insights, from the most relatable personal stories, but never share them because of a fear of imperfection, they remains completely powerless, joyless, and alone. Jesus said something like this about his own life: “Unless a kernel of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it abides alone, but if it dies it yields much fruit.” If this is true of a life GIVEN to others in totaslity, then surely it is true of one given daily, incrementaly, and intentionally. A seed’s purpose is to be planted for others… Maybe your pain, joy, insight, experience, and story is as well.
More than just money
Again we read, “Give and it shall be given to you…” Far too often we have thought of these passages only in terms of money. What if they applied to the beauty you have to share with others for their good, and yours? What if by perfection and fear, you are allowing that blessing to be stolen from others, but it also steals from you? An odd thing happens when we give something of value, we benefit. It can be money or gifts but even more so our story, wisdom, time, attention, and love. By all means give financially, but don’t allow insight, wisdom, love, and service to be stolen because that’s all you thought this was about.
Personal reflection
Take a few minutes to journal about these questions:
1. What gift, talent, or insight are you holding back from sharing with others?
2. How might your desire for perfection be serving as a form of self-protection?
3. What small step could you take today to share something meaningful, even if it isn’t perfect?
the book
My first book was not “Recalculating” but was a book titled, “Nothing More”. It’s a spiritual devotional that is about the process of stripping away all of the things we add to ourselves to try to make us more acceptable. It’s a book about the pursuit of false perfection. And the process of discovering you need, “Nothing More” than a vulnerable and honest embrace of who you currently are.
A second witholding happened after I published this book. I only told those who I knew would receive it well. The irony is, those who need it most, those who were most likely following my earlier footsteps in life, weren’t among them. If you are iunterested in that journey, you can find the book on Amazon at this link.